as i write this, i am scared and vulnerable.
right now, i am waiting for some sign or acknowledgement from the man who holds a huge piece of my heart. he’s my boyfriend, i guess. my love, and my best friend.
right now, it’s as if he is sitting silently, alone, holding the piece in his hands, wondering if he wants to keep it or not.
the thing about hearts, though, is that once you start giving someone pieces, you can’t put them back in. he can’t just hand the pieces back for me to put back in their original places, and then i’ll feel fine.
he has to either keep them , or toss them away. and little by little, my heart would have to regrow the missing pieces, by happiness, or another love, or maybe just by time alone.
if he keeps them and we stay together, then my heart is whole, in a sense. but i also have pieces of his, ones that i do not want to throw away. and i can choose to keep them with me despite his decision, but it will prevent my heart from scabbing over, and healing.
so here i stand, waiting for an answer, or a sign, that i am still wanted. holding pieces of a heart that belong to a man that i wish nothing but happiness and love, even if that means he doesn’t belong to me anymore.